I'm really in a mood for sad songs right now.It's not because I'm sad or anything, I just love it! Then I came across a song by Jamestown Story called Goodbye I'm Sorry. The song just became the theme of my school life, everyday. No one cares about me. No one never does. I'm just the lonely girl that just sits in class with a 'I don't have any friends' look while drawing my dearest desires. It may sound crazy but I want to know what it feels like to be a guy for a change. To walk in their shoes. I know some movies that recall this same situation and it always ended like ' I'm glad I'm 'what' at the beginning' and that's it. And those films just sucked.
About the music, this is the lyric;
Time has run out, for me.
Everything's distant and I don't know what to believe.
It's so hard, lost in the world confusion.
And I need to leave, for a while.
Life is so meaningless, there is nothing worth a smile.
So goodbye, I'll miss you.
And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears.
It's been the years, of abuse.
Neglected to treat the disorder,
That controls my youth, for so long.
I'm in a fleshy tomb, buried up above the ground.
It's no use, why should I hold on?
It's been five years, don't need one more.
So goodbye, life's abuse.
And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears.
(Every 18 minutes, somebody dies from a suicide.
Every 43 seconds, somebody attempts one.
If you, or anybody you know, is suicidal,
Call 1-800-784-2433.)
And I'm sorry, but this my fate.
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.
I'm not worth any tears.
I went WTF on the call 1-800-784-2433. I mean, what's that number? The suicide company? A therapist? Did anyone even tried calling the number? But nonetheless, I feel...not wanted. I tried to change my attitude a little bit but I ended up being like a...the B word. I mean, I just don't know what to do? I don't wanna be this lonely girl in the classroom all the time. I want to be something that's noticeable in my school, but not popular.
And that leaves the lyric, "no one will cry over me. I'm not worth any tears"
I think nobody in my school will cry when I die. And I'm not worth anyone's tears. It just feel kinda sad being me. Although some people has it harder. But my life's been an empty shell with no snail in it. It can't move forward. And only the wind can move it. But which way? The wind that blew me blows me backwards. I feel left out. I feel not needed. And I have a yearning of the past at times.
I like to just sing my heart out now. I know my voice isn't like a Goddess or anything but, I just want to spit out every emotion inside my worthless body.
The life of myself....
The life of self regrets....
And at this feelings, came happiness. How I made it this far. But not far enough. This song kinda encourage me to suicide. But I don't want to. I don't want to die yet. I don't want to left everyone behind. My friends, my family. They'll be sad if I'm gone. And I'll go to hell for suicide. No one wins. And suicide can be a selfish thing. Because they don't realize many other human beings that have a more miserable life then theirs. And they don't care about their friends and family. So that means emo people are selfish? Not sure.
It's 10:41 PM So I'll sleep now. Oyasumi and Sayonara :3
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